Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment
“We've got mountains to do” - the athlete on anti-gay prejudice in soccer
“You shouldn't exist” ... “What are you doing here?” ... “Stop breathing.”
After announcing his homosexuality in 2021, player the athlete has received daily death threats and hateful comments on social media.
“Upon reading those comments, it broke my heart,” the player explains. “No-one wants to read things like that.
“I'm working to improve my skills and be the best I can be during matches, and then get put down because of who I am. It's appalling.”
Midfielder Cavallo was at Adelaide United four years ago when he became the only openly gay elite soccer player in the world.
Recently he left Australia to join lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who play in front of crowds of about 400 in National League North, the sixth tier of English football.
The 25-year-old balances his sports career for the semi-professional team by advocating for LGBTQ+ issues and leveraging his platform - he has more than one million followers on social media - to promote fairness and acceptance.
“Definitely, we've got mountains to do,” Cavallo comments when questioned about ongoing issues with homophobia.
“Rarely a week passes without encountering problems.”
‘People want to harm me’
The player was raised in Melbourne
It took years for the athlete to work up the courage to say “I'm gay” before coming out on 27 October 2021.
“My only desire is compete in soccer and be treated equally,” he said in an related clip.
The player was 21 and building his reputation at Adelaide United in the premier division when, backed by his colleagues, he announced his orientation publicly.
“The future was uncertain. I didn't know what to expect,” he recalls. “The moment seemed appropriate in my life. I wanted to take the next step.”
His emotional coming out video, entitled ‘His Personal Story’, went viral on digital platforms.
“My mobile phone exploded with messages of support. The response was incredible.”
Liverpool were among numerous famous teams around the world to express support for Cavallo, with then manager the German manager saying: “I'm really thankful that he took this step because now we talk again.”
Barcelona defender the athlete also expressed backing, writing on social media that “the world of football is far behind and your actions drive progress”, while his former club released a comment supporting their “extraordinary” and “brave” player.
Others, however, were less welcoming.
Cavallo soon turned into a subject to anti-gay remarks by rival supporters.
In January 2022 Melbourne Victory were penalized five thousand dollars over discriminatory chants from fans aimed toward Cavallo during a match.
“The things I'd hear were hurtful and derogatory towards my community,” he says.
“I didn't react because responding would encourage detractors.”
A scary event occurred at a petrol station in Australia, where Cavallo was assaulted by someone who recognised him from the media attention.
“It was terrifying,” he remembers. “I remember thinking ‘this is happening - individuals intend to hurt me’.
“Is it acceptable? Definitely not. But through my disclosure, these are the consequences.
“My wish is that future individuals who comes out while competing in soccer at a professional standard doesn't have to experience the journey I have experienced.”
Cavallo says the daily death threats and hostile communications have affected his psychological well-being.
“It's disappointing because I must justify why I belong on the football field for being who I am,” he states.
“Heterosexual players aren't questioned and ask ‘what gives you the right in football?’.
“A lot of people see me as a smiling, positive person. But sometimes when I rely on my partner, Leighton, and he gets to see a lot that happens privately.”
‘Top-tier athlete revealing orientation would create waves’
Cavallo's decision to reveal his sexuality helped inspire teenage attacking player Jake Daniels to come out as the Britain's sole publicly out playing soccer professional in May 2022.
However, there are no openly gay or bisexual players in the top English division.
“It would move mountains,” says the footballer on the effect a Premier League player revealing their orientation would make.
“But I'm not going to sugar-coat it. There are a lot of scary things that would await this individual. In the world of football, being an openly gay player is a very toxic place.”
Twenty-seven years after a pioneering player - the UK's initial out soccer professional - died by suicide in 1998, Cavallo has spoken about the “harmful male culture” that persists in men's football.
“You just need to go to a match and observe the unfriendly atmosphere and male-dominated culture that the crowd brings,” he says.
“Much remains to be done to make sure there is a secure environment in soccer for people like myself and his colleague.
“We haven't seen it (additional athletes revealing their orientation) as much as we would like.
“I can only keep pushing for what I think is right, and strive for eliminating the toxic masculinity in soccer locker rooms and creating a safe space.”
‘I'm here to create change’
Cavallo received an honorary doctorate from an academic institution in Adelaide in 2022, honoring his efforts as a role model in athletics and a champion for equality
Cavallo says football has enabled discussions inside dressing rooms about revealing one's orientation.
Yet, he is critical of Fifa, after Qatar, where same-sex relationships are illegal, hosted the men's World Cup in 2022.
Future World Cup is scheduled in another Gulf state, where homosexuality is similarly prohibited.
“Do I approve that the global championship is in nations that criminalise same-sex marriages, where individuals like myself will be put in prison for merely living on that land? It's scary,” states the athlete.
“I receive communications [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for being who I am - can you help me?’.
“It's devastating that people are getting locked up for their true selves.
“Certain nations that are huge in terms of football and they reject the queer community. Those are the countries that often focus on me.”
Nevertheless, Cavallo says he will not stop speaking up.
“Soccer has allowed me to start conversations in the locker room. It has allowed me to speak and educate people who want to learn more.
“Not everyone is going to like you for who you are. But I have found my family. I have found my community.
“My mission is to drive progress. That's what I'm here for.”
